Hokay, everyone, it's time for an update!
Basically, you all know the drill: HOURS and HOURS of school, work, and now two internships and two clubs (three, as of yesterday. Because I HATE LIFE).
Anyway, something strange happened to me the other day that I wanted to run by everyone here on dA. I actually found myself with (le GASP) ONE day of free time. I had finally caught up with homework, and had the day off from work, and the weirdest thing happened. I sat around looking at my hands wondering WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH ALL THIS FREE TIME? I actually checked my homework again to make sure I had done it. I started thinking about my upcoming assignments so I could do those. It wasn't until I had done this for about three hours that I suddenly realized "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?? I HAVE ART TO DO, DON'T I?"
But then I realized that I have been working so many jobs, doing so much school, and etc, that I was totally out of the habit. It's like I didn't even remember that art was a thing I used to do. And it scared me. Both my parents did art-related things before they went to college, and by the time they came out, they had pretty well lost the habit and the drive. I dug up old paintings that my father had done back in his early college days, and also heard my mom tell stories about how she could draw the best at her school. Neither of them could paint or draw to save their lives, and I never saw either of them do anything like that my whole time growing up.
So I guess I thought to myself: "Is this how it happens? Is this how people with dreams and hopes and love and all that stuff end up just like everyone else? Looking for a stable job and then wondering where the hell their life went wrong when they're 40?" I don't know, but I do know that I don't want to be like that. I'm going to escape soon (I have to phrase it that way. College is sucking the life out of me. Working so many hours is doing the same thing) but I want to be able to draw and paint and write again when I do.
But I could barely do anything. And I'm really scared.
Has anyone else ever felt this way? How do you fight it? How can you get it back once you've been so long without drawing anything, or writing very much? Does anyone else think this is how that happens? Let me know, because I'm thinking now that if I ever have kids, I will teach them to NEVER STOP. Even in school, find the time, because otherwise, you might lose it.
Peace everybody. I'd promise I'd have more art soon, but now I'm not so sure. Take care!